When a family decides not to re-enroll at your school, the reason they give is often just the surface-level explanation. Most people (certainly not all) prefer to avoid conflict and sugarcoat the truth.
That’s great if you’re also conflict-averse, don’t want to hear an uncomfortable opinion, and are fine with a simple explanation as to why the family is leaving.
But that’s not you! You’re growing a thriving, healthy Christian school. You care about your families, your mission, and your school’s future. And you know that when a family states their intention to leave, it’s a prime opportunity to learn and improve.
That’s why you can’t settle for reasons like:
- “We need something closer to home.”
- “We’re just following where God is leading us.”
- “We need a bigger school with more opportunities.”
- “We can’t make it work financially anymore.”
- “We’ve decided to homeschool.”
While these may be partially true, they probably don’t reflect the deeper reason behind the decision. And if you don’t uncover that fundamental reason, you can’t address it, resolve it, or prevent other families from making the same choice.
So, how do you get to the truth? It starts with knowing how to ask.
Exit Surveys vs. Exit Interviews
When a family states their intention to leave, you have two main ways to gather insights: exit surveys and exit interviews. Both have their place, but which one you use depends on your goal.
Exit Surveys
Exit surveys are an efficient and convenient way to gather feedback digitally.
✅ Pros:
- Reveals useful insights—better than nothing!
- Can highlight areas for improvement.
- Less bias since families complete it privately.
- Easy and convenient for families.
- Trackable data for spotting trends.
- Scalable and efficient.
❌ Cons:
- Can cement a family’s decision to leave instead of opening a door for resolution.
- One-way communication—no follow-up questions.
- Often comes too late to change their minds.
Exit Interviews
An exit interview is a personal conversation, ideally with the Head of School or Principal.
✅ Pros:
- Opens the door for dialogue.
- Even if the family still leaves, it allows for a positive parting—important for word-of-mouth reputation.
- Can reveal the real reason behind their decision.
- More effective in retaining families when concerns can be addressed.
❌ Cons:
- Parents may hesitate to share their true feelings initially.
- Can be difficult to schedule.
- Requires time from leadership’s already busy schedule.
Which One Should You Use?
It depends on your goal:
- If your goal is data collection (gathering broad insights over time), use an exit survey.
- If your goal is retention, understanding, or parting on good terms, try to arrange an exit interview.
And you don’t have to choose one approach for all families. For example:
- For families that that struggled to align with your school’s mission, a survey is likely sufficient.
- But if a right-fit family (one that embodies your mission and would ideally stay) is leaving, an interview is essential.
Don’t use surveys as a way to avoid hard conversations. If a family you want to keep is leaving, don’t just send a form and don your sackcloth and ashes. A real conversation could be the difference between them staying—or at least help you prevent future losses.
The Magic Question
In an exit interview, the key is to move past surface-level answers. One simple but revealing question can do just that:
“If [their stated issue] weren’t an issue, would you stay?”
For example:
- If finances weren’t a concern, would you stay?
- If we did have more athletic opportunities for Luke, would you stay?
- If Leia had more friends here, would you stay?
This question forces families to reflect and often reveals the real reason behind their decision.
- If they say yes, you now know what’s truly at stake—and might even have a way to address it.
- If they say no, you can ask follow-up questions to get to the real reason and determine whether their decision is/was avoidable.
Please note: I’m not saying that you should lower tuition, add a football team, etc, because one family says they would stay if you did. This question is primarily about getting to the underlying reason for their departure.
Final Thought
Families will leave. That’s a reality for every school. But when you take the time to ask the right questions and have the right conversations, you can improve retention, strengthen your school’s offerings, and ensure that even when families do leave, they leave with a positive impression.
So next time a family says they’re leaving, don’t settle for the first answer they give. Instead, ask the one question that could change everything:
“If that weren’t an issue, would you stay?”
